Killer landing pages - i'm here to critique/improve yours! ($50 to starbucks) (48)
Killer landing pages - i'm here to critique/improve yours! ($50 to starbucks)
I'm in the middle of testing a creative idea for a campaign case study, but it won't be ready for at least a week (needs some prep), so in the meantime let me help you with your landing pages. I'll critique them + offer suggestions, and answer any other questions you have related to landing pages. I'll keep this thread open as a tab and will respond often.
The only thing is you MUST post the landing pages/questions here. Nothing via PM. If your worried about being copied, just change the lander/niche/question a bit before showing it publicly.
but WAIT, lets spice up this thread a bit. If you post a landing page of yours new or old (whether it needs to be critiqued or not) I'll randomly choose one winner and send them a $50 Starbucks gift card 
(can't hate on 10 free cappuccino's can you?!) -- The goal of this is the more landing pages in this thread, the better everyone's learning experience will be.
If you post a landing page of yours that doesn't need to be critiqued please add (no critique) above the image.
Lets get started! my experience is here for your gain
WILL END THIS MINI CONTEST JULY 26th!
Critique please right now its at 5% lp ctr I was told to use a simple LP as people on gaming sites don't read the bullet points.
I was taking the approach of a supersized facebook ad :P
The word "Register" implies lots of work to be done before I can play the game. I imagine that there will be tons of fields to fill in before I can start.
Try changing the word to something less intimidating, like
- Start now
- Continue
- Play now
Or maybe something more creative, like
- Hell yeah, I was born to beat this game!
- Level 2? That's child's play. I always beat games into 4 digit levels.
=)
Wow thanks! I was using register now cause I thought it would prepare the user more and I'll try more creative angles!
Thanks again!
also a tip - look at the top performing email submits and see what call to actions they use on their landing pages.
here are the call to actions of the top 3 offers on peerfly by CR
That's a great way to find CTA buttons!
Thanks!
okay I'll play. I've tried a few split tests on it and although the LP CTR is decent, conversion rates are not that great (6-8%)
none of the fields actually need to be filled out, and all links simply redirect to the offer.
@jroes
shanktank is definitely right about the call to action
I'd also work on the font/boldness of the header, and a more exciting image. -- I'd keep it simple like you said, gaming needs to be simple.
@constantin
wicked angle! if i had to choose 2 things i'd try
- removing some of the text/more white space on the landing (overall making it simpler)
- change 'no cc necessary' (in the yellow on the arrow) to 'view pics now!'
Hey folks!
here is my lander for my scholarhsip campaign running right now - I already got a conversion but the problem in this niche is, the bid prices are horrendous high :/ any suggestions?
Hey there,
Here is my:
I pushed it on FB and got about 50% CTR (and 10-15% CR on email submit). How can I improve ?
Thanks!
@vitz
I would replace the ipad pics with people holding an ipad. Smiling people like they just won an ipad.
lacruz: Aside from anything else, make the timer countdown shorter, much shorter 
I don't know what your traffic source is, but if you can do audio that can help alot.
vits: Nice lander! I wouldn't replace the iPad pic personally, but I'd add a row of like 6-8 small pics of people holding iPads AND if you have no qualms about it, a like button from another page showing several thousand likes.
@lacruz
try split testing a hotter chick, and shorter countdown time, maybe 2 days or even just 1 hour.
try changing the button text using the same theories as @shanktank mentioned too.
@vitz
nice lander. looks pro and very facebook'ish! I think it's good as is, something you could try is a 2nd page that says "locating current available ipad's in <state here>", then saying, 14 available, claim yours now.
Originally Posted by stackman
@Vitz
Definitely introduce social proof. Jordan did a post a while back where he used it with an IQ test.
Also - Make the %votes clearer and play around with the %split. Also consider which targets might be in favour of one or the other. I used this method with a football campaign a while back and targeted teams. The targeted team was always loosing by 3-4 votes. Pushing people to vote to make sure their team does not loose.
Here is a landing page I tried with adult traffic. After 1000 clicks the CTR 27% but conversion 0. The offer I promoted was BeNaughty.com. Quite possible that the traffic I bought was bad or the angle was not good.
http://screencast.com/t/6c9unlkTI
The red arrow animates back and forth.
(Not sure why I can't inline the image.)
Tested a few of this style (PPV) figured i'd share. Could def. add some things like vote % Bars, etc. figured i'd just see if there were any suggestions.
1. A private shopping offer - modique.com, the lp1 convert at 1%, Lp2 convert at 0.5%, so it break down, how to improve? thanks
LP1:
LP2:
2. Push the email submit offer in TV, convert at 0.75%, losing money... i just bid at ticket service website.
==========
no one give me some suggestions to these 3 landers?
Thanks stackman!
One main problem: I can't get enough traffic for this offer - all the EDU related targets are sooooo expensive (sometimes 20 cent/view).... any ideas?
Originally Posted by stackman
Originally Posted by lacruz
I notice a lot of guys doing EDU offers run ads that are more pointed towards job seekers like "FBI agents make $75K a Year" etc. so why not try some job related URLS?
Example:
http://www.walmart.com/cp/Careers/1044526
If your allowed to target younger demos highschool sports sites, newspaper sites usually have a category just for local highschools.
just a few crackpot ideas.
when you bid on obvious urls you'll always be competing against advertisers with much higher CPA's than you and profiting will always be difficult to impossible.
@jeppfisk that CTR you have is decent. I've run benaughty in the past and it has preformed solidly. I don't think you need to focus on your lander at all. Unless your traffic is absolute rubbish, I'm guessing its something up with the offer. Have you tried it on other networks? Have you tried any other traffic sources too?
@scotchsale I would simplify things. "Did Lebron make a mistake joining Miami Heat? Win an NBA Jersey"
Use a photo of Lebron talking to the press or an image of a video and just have your voting buttons below.
I would also try a lighter colored background. If you want to go extra special, make an animated gif of all the NBA shirts rotating of each other.
When I look back on the Prosper202 stats for the LP. It has become clear to me that I have been looking at the wrong stats (I'm not quite sure how I did it, perhaps it's my dyslexia I do not know). The right stats for the LP is:
Clicks 321
CTR 27%
Leads 1
Payout $4.5
Cost $8.03
Net (-$3.52)
ROI -44.00%
No I have not yet tested the offer on other networks. Because I only have a account on the neverblue network. Is there any other network that has such offers?I have just tried one traffic sources and it was adxpansion. I will be testing this LP a little more on adxpansion maybe with some other banners.
RichMen offer with a New Age angle.
The Continue button is a .gif
Took the baby lander from tijn's $30/day campaign.modified it a little bit.
I removed the audio because I didn't know where to get some appropriate voice overs for a dating campaign. Would you recommend adding some audio to it ?
Originally Posted by nils
RichMen offer with a New Age angle.
The Continue button is a .gif
Took the baby lander from tijn's $30/day campaign.modified it a little bit.
I removed the audio because I didn't know where to get some appropriate voice overs for a dating campaign. Would you recommend adding some audio to it ?
Doesn't seem believable & sounds more like a hostage situation.
That's the first thing I thought when I saw the LP. I was like WTF does that mean.
Yup I thought it meant there were only 56 men left for 42.5 year old women lol. Then again, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed - but neither is the average women signing up to this stuff
Originally Posted by jeppfisk
Hey Stack, Mr. Green, Bes, I'm trying out some new LPs I've made and i'd really value your opinions.
How would you rate them, Poor - Average - Awesome. And what would you change about them if anything.
PS: i'm not a LP expert by any means 
New LP:
Old LP
@w4rl0rdx
Disclaimer: I'm not balling in monies yet. Not a pro yet.
Here's my take on your new lander: Scrap it.
Why? Almost every element in there is hurting your
main objective: Conversion. I don't know where to
look. So many colors, the background hurts my eyes.
These are things your prospect is thinking about. Which
results in them closing that badboy.
Like Claude Hopkins once said, "Advertising is salesmanship."
"...every advertising question should be answered by the
salesman's standards."
It's not for general affect. Don't try to wow them with a pretty
flashy lander. Think of it like your own personal salesman.
Would send him in wearing a pink suit?
I actually like the old lander better. Remove a few elements,
and then just keep split testing diff headlines, diff bullet points,
etc. Also, use one solid headline. It seems the old lander has
two.
/out
@w$rl0rdx
I'm afraid I would rate them as Poor to Average.
It's like you have read about all the tips in the book and put thrown them all on the same page haha. Somethings are only effective on their own.
Turn away from your computer then look at your lander, what do your eyes focus on? My eyes flicker they get confused sooo many things going on!
Your strongest LP is the white one.
Changes I would do would be.
1. Use more legible fonts.
2. Get rid of the top banner.
3. Get rid of that clipart image.
4. Get rid of the text under the photos.
5. Change call to action to "Meet Gamer Girls Now".
6. Add "user online" or "user offline" with green or red icons under each girl.
7. Make sure you think about when users first come to your LP, what do you want them to focus on? Is the message clear?
@showcasekid
-10% ROI is workable especially at 50cent clicks. What type of images are you using? Whats your highest CTR?
As eliquid said throwing in a 2nd offer may greatly help you. I recommend a diaper offer (possibly a submit), also family planning, insurance for kids (or babies if you make your own landing page). Go to odigger.com and type in 'baby' and 'child'.
@stackman
I'm targeting broad. My best ctr on my ad is .14. I used the fatest baby I could and put "Think your baby is cuter prove it. If your right you could win $2500" When I tried to use the same ad with better pics fb wouldn't approve them to save their life.
I wanted to go more targeted but then when I wrote a new ad fb said image was unacceptable and retro disapproved my ads. Most recent when I submit the ads I get denied because my landing page doesn't explin exactly what is required. So I do have the one ad approved still with my high ctr photo. So rather than mess with it I thought it would be easier to improve my lander. Im paying .39 cents a click on my ad with .14 ctr that's the best I was able to get so far.
@eliquid
I appreciate your feedback. I never even considered that.
@w4rl0rdx that's hilarious man, that angle was the first angle I could ever make profitable on facebook dating. I was direct linking too! some of those images you are using on your lander were big winners for my actual ads. If you can get a good ctr on your lander you can potentially make a killing!
Bleh, I want to launch my new lander on Facebook but they banned my advertising account and I don't know if it'd be worth it to make a new one. I wonder if I could use that on PPV and just target URLS
please also correct language related stuff :-)
Would love some feedback on this gaming LP. Thanks a lot guys.
Hey Jons That LP got my juices flowing and gave me some ideas... thanks! Just gotta ask though, whats with the timer?
when the countdown ends they no longer need beta testers or what???
Also instead of a "continue" button what about a "Play Now" or "Play For Free"
Also another thing I am not sure if your allowed to say beta testers needed anymore. Also confused about the timer.
@showcasekid
i think it'd be worth trying to get cheaper clicks with some new ads. Test completely new images, and make a compliant lander, then switch it once it's approve.
@w4rl0rdx
Make a new account! Just use all new info, new ip, new cc, etc..
@movingshadow
Quick work on the angle !! -- Your language/grammer is perfect in it, but i would swap out '8 seconds', to '4 minutes'
@jons
Above the timer test out "Game will cost $4.99 once this reach 00:00", like w4rl0rdx said put "play now" on the button instead of 'continue' and maybe somewhere near the bottom right put some small facebook images of people and write below it 6,932 players today.
"Facebook people" =
http://www.miscbytes.com/wp-content/...0e59b3d184.jpg
Everyone who submitted a landing page was entered in to the random draw for $50 to starbucks.
The winner is jroes!
The winner was based by random, and had nothing to do with the landing page itself.
PM'ing you now to get your address!
I appreciate the feedback everyone. Will be working on this immediately.
Congrats jroes, well done
Congrats jroes =) Imo though getting landing pages critiqued by people who know what they're doing is a fantastic value in itself
Originally Posted by Mr Green
Eager to learn!
Ryan
Bump! This deserves another round.
Yes... Stackman and other member, please keep this topic alive.. i need some suggestion also.. Here is my landing page :
advice please...
Thanks
Darman
show someone winning the iPad... smiling...
test the headline.
test the button text.
If i was still designing for clients, i could design shit that would kill it.
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