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Angle on LP, Comment Please! (26)

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I have been struggling to make a good LP after following most of the guidelines, and somehow it does not connect with the target audience. Check it out! http://nexticlick.com/TrueDCFemale/TDLP1.php. Is the angle OK?

Running POF for SeniorPeopleMeet.com offer. Country the US and Canada. Log in count<50. My creatives are quite good I presume.

Need all comment and inputs please!

Thanks,
Sutarjo

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I don't really see what angle you are going for here...looks fairly generic.

Also there are quite a few grammar & spelling mistakes on your lander, and some of the sentences don't make sense...unless that was your angle?

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A couple of quick tips:

- I'd lose the blink tag on your headline. It makes it much harder to read - which given the headline's the single most important piece of text on the page, is bad.
- You've got a lot of text on the page. That's an easy mistake to make - I make it a lot in early draft LPs too - but it can cost conversions. I'd aggressively work on trimming that down to just the strongest points.
- You do have a few typos. Those don't always cost conversions (I have a hunch that in some cases they increase conversions) but on balance, you'll probably do better without them. "Dereck" should probably be "Derek", "like to send gifts to love ones" should be " likes to send gifts to love ones" .

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hey sutarjo,

just me 2cent: perhaps the "fireman fantasy" is more suitable for younger demo because younger girls, well, have more fantasy. Old women may just be finding "someone to spend her life with".

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:O:O

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I agree with the above. You are getting the CTR so it MUST be your LP, right?

One thing to note also is, when I clicked on your lander it told me about men in Sheffield! You are obviously using the GeoIP to locate me BUT! I live no where near Sheffield, it is about 50 miles away! that is the problem with using the City part of GeoIP, it seems to find where my Internet Provider is situated and not me!

I also agree that going for this fantasy guy approach. EG: "He is a Fireman and will pick you up and protect you" and then you link through to a normal dating site, in my case an over 50's site for seniors, would make 99% of women switch off!

They are looking for a long term, real relationship so offer them that!

So much to think about!

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That CTR very amazing!! It's really high.. lol

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Thanks caurman and all your comments. I got rid of the blinking tag. What do you think the headline? I also changed a couple of things by put in Hobbies. My thinking was by listing down all those things: the values, belief and hobbies in his profile, can create the angle of my target. I also took the approach of Derek is a normal guy, does not over promise and hype. I have changed my lander. Check it out! http://nexticlick.com/TrueDCFemale/TDLP1.php

The CTR of my creatives are quite good. I used 300x250 banners ad.

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hey you used 300x250? Did you exclude mobile traffic?

In my experience most 300x250 traffic are mobile. That's why conversion rate sucks.

EDIT: WTF was I saying?

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yes, ctr's are high... but it looks like there's like no impressions.

so whats the point of high CTR's if you can't scale?

wonder if that is scalable or too tightly niched.

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akrtw1, no I did not exclude mobile traffic. When I checked on my prosper, about 35% mobile traffic and one or two conversion from mobile, too.

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I think a LOT of people (I am one of them) think you are wrong

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I would separate mobile and non-mobile traffic for sure. You can be surprised about the volume and possible conversions.

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My immediate objective is to increase CR from my Landing Page. The conversion was extremely low, only about 1-2% from the total clicks. Can anyone give comment http://nexticlick.com/TrueDCFemale/TDLP1.php

Sutarjo

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We could give you a lot of advice on optimising this LP, but before we do that, have you tried split-testing with a completely different lander? That would definitely be my recommended next step.

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This is good advice! At least three landers! Well, that is what I do! I am sure folk would tell you more is better!

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That CTR is hawttt! Your creatives must be awesome to get the CTR that high. Good work on that.

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Ya, I tried this one before, without much success, check it out http://nexticlick.com/SPMDating4/SPMLP2.php and also this one http://nexticlick.com/SPMDating4/SPMLP4A.php

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Both of these are extreme eye sores. All of those bright colors and moving objects are painful on my eyes.

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My overall thought is maybe this guys profile or photo turns of 80% of women who see it.. Going with something more broad may be a better angle

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The language is weird and suspicious.
Susie: So Brendan, what do you like?
Brendan: "Note down birthdays", "send gifts to love ones".

The landing pages are unique and not necessarily bad, but:
a) too much going on -- simplify
b) increase the text size even more if you're targeting seniors
c) ditch the flashy
d) un-blue the geolocation, or just leave one in there... make it more subtle/inline, it'll hit them harder

And the big one:
Does your targeting really want to be thought of as "seniors"? A more appropriate offer might be Mature Dating Only (find it on W4 etc.) -- "Mature" is likeable, "Senior" can be alienating.

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Thanks for your advice. Very slow traffic from POF for last one week, does everyone experience the same thing?

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I would even say those guys on the photos turn off 99% of BBW women. When you target female audience, especially in a dating niche, it's good to keep in mind that women are always concerned about their weight and especially overweight women. Imagine a "big girl" clicking on your ad and expecting to see someone who might really be interested in her body type. Instead she sees of a bunch of 17-25 y.o. slim guys with smartphones who would never go out with a fat 30-35 years old woman. I bet she would rather expect to see a mature 45+ men, a few extra pounds to overweight, good looking, with a kind face. In that case your statement about "guys love cooking dinner with YOU" would sound much more believable.

My point is that you can try to match age and body type of your targeted audience and profiles on your landing page and see if there will be increase in CTR from LP to the offer and ultimately in conversions.

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^ that, plus I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that most "big girls" don't refer to themselves as big girls. You're pretty much calling them fat, alongside pictures of the type of douchey looking guys that probably used to call them fat in high school. I'd call them curvy.

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You're absolutely right.
Given that BBW is a rather broad term, the ad can trigger clicks not only from beautiful curvy women but from very obese women as well, who are desperate about finding someone who would really like them.

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Here's a goldmine thread I found on that subject - euphemisms for "fat" is multiple languages: http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=824429 . Includes English, German, Dutch, Brazilian Portugese, French, and more...

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