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Need some critics - First LP for Facebook (10)

09-25-2012 01:57 PM #1 numerouno (Member)
Need some critics - First LP for Facebook

Hey guys, I've been running Facebook dating for a while directly on Facebook but now I'd like to try it with a landing page. I didn't build a lot of LPs and pretty much always ran direct so I need some tips in order to improve this LP :

http://www.evernote.com/shard/s12/sh...517cf11cae9cf3

Thanks a lot guys !

09-25-2012 02:04 PM #2 patje72 (Member)

He man....the first thing I was thinking of was American Pie...

The LP...

First check for spelling womens...man...men...mens.

My Opinion:
The testimonials are screaming FAKE.
The girls...4x the same type...

I like your CTA!

Try to be a bit more original with your headlines and benefits...If it isn't a real benefit...skip it.

09-25-2012 02:15 PM #3 dconstrukt (Member)

spelling is off

09-25-2012 03:31 PM #4 joejoechen (Member)

These girls are hungry
LOL. tat's boss dude.

09-27-2012 01:47 PM #5 numerouno (Member)

Haha well thanks for the help guys, actually this LP was in french and I had to written in english super quickly, but thanks for finding the spelling problems.

Anything else?

These girls are truly hungry.

09-27-2012 02:26 PM #6 stackman (Administrator)

My favorite landing page tactic when running on Facebook was

* Relating the landing page to Facebook
Just saying "Welcome facebook users" used to be great, but you can get a lot more creative, such as using fb profile photo screenshots, or adding buttons saying "See Melissa's facebook profile" using a fb-blue style button, and don't forget about social proof

Some other ideas based on your specific page
- Sometimes no images at all works better
- Fix your spelling/grammar
- Your testimonials are feeling pretty fake

10-11-2012 07:46 PM #7 numerouno (Member)

All right, here is my update based on your comments. I added more Facebook stuff, remove the testimonials.

I'm testing Be2 MX with it, CTR is 37% and can't beat a damn break even.

Any suggestions guys?

https://www.evernote.com/shard/s12/s...ad5fff5c3a2147

10-12-2012 12:17 PM #8 numerouno (Member)

Anyone ? How's 37% CTR for a Facebook LP ?

10-12-2012 01:52 PM #9 lancer (Member)

Quote Originally Posted by stackman View Post
My favorite landing page tactic when running on Facebook was

* Relating the landing page to Facebook
Just saying "Welcome facebook users" used to be great, but you can get a lot more creative, such as using fb profile photo screenshots, or adding buttons saying "See Melissa's facebook profile" using a fb-blue style button, and don't forget about social proof
I was always unsure as to whether I could use FB buttons and like counts on LP's. How far can you push this?

10-15-2012 08:17 PM #10 numerouno (Member)

Quick bump

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