The good:
Hey Matuloo/Vortex/Forum - excited to be on here this is great! My name is ______ and I'm from _____. My experience is in ______, _______, and ______.
I'm going to be focusing on _____ traffic source and am 100% determined to work hard and make it work!
I've been reading all the old threads on it and learned a ton!
I'm gonna start a follow-along but in the meantime, could anyone help me with this one confusing thing?
How do I ___________?
Thanks for all the help!
The Bad:
Hi Matauloo/Vortex/Forum - I am __________ how do I make big profit in affiliate marketing please help.
The Ugly:
Hi Matuloo/Vortex/Forum - this is ________.
I need you to tell me 3 offers I can run where I can make a guaranteed 500$ a day profit.
My rep at XYZ Affiliate Network recommended this offer with a 45$ payout that he said was good - I spent 50$ running it and didn't make a SINGLE SALE. The affiliate rep was obviously scamming me. I told him to f*ck off! Am never using that network again!
And then my stupid traffic rep won't respond to my emails. My campaign overspent by $9.72 and I've sent her 10 emails demanding a refund and she still hasn't written back.
Plus they keep giving me crap about my bit.ly links - but how am I supposed to afford a tracker when their traffic isn't giving me any profits? I think that network is a scam.
Please send that list of offers that can give me guaranteed profits along with a list of what traffic networks to run them on and a blacklist and whitelist for each- broken down alphabetically- to badassinternetmillionaire69@gmail.com by 5 pm tonight.
Laterz.
I kid, but I probably would have been way worse than the bottom one had I joined STM in my youth 
Absolutely awesome @jack_l! I’m bookmarking this. 
Then STM breaks the dreams fed by lambo gurus that use special methods 
Ha. In reality this is what all newbies want!! But dare not to say, until today!!
LOL
Sometimes it really is like this, you made my day
))
Lol, thanks for that nice "how not to..." reminder 