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Please critique my FB Ad Copy (9)

07-16-2018 10:30 AM #1 revale (Member)
Please critique my FB Ad Copy

Hi,

I'd like to hear some improvement tips for my FB Ad Copy.

I'm not native English.

Not sure if my ad copy sounds legit or embarrassing. I started to like it b/c I read it many times.

The image is of course not the actual image I'm going to use.

I tried to use the following structure:

Open Loop
Nightmare story
Transition
Benefits
Call to action

https://gyazo.com/8a6a9e2a9bb66e14f8cb657eb8b3ba9f


Thanks

07-16-2018 01:41 PM #2 monetise (Member)

Hey Revale,

It looks pretty legit to me. It's written pretty well, considering English isn't your first language.

Good job

07-17-2018 07:49 AM #3 revale (Member)

Thanks for the flowers. But it just got rejected because of the claims. I don't see that I made claims

07-17-2018 07:59 AM #4 stickupkid (Senior Moderator)

An ad copy with the following words combined defo asking for a dissapproval; healthy, suffered, high blood pressure, joint pain, BMI, metabolism, chlosterol levels etc. And the last three sentences are clearly claims.

07-17-2018 01:09 PM #5 dr_franz (Member)

I was going to answer, then I saw stickupkid reply: as always great answers.


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07-17-2018 09:50 PM #6 revale (Member)

I followed the advice and got approved. Thanks

07-19-2018 09:38 AM #7 stickupkid (Senior Moderator)

Good to hear and nice we found some time for a small talk in Barcelona! Hope it helps you to get a better view of how to run possible profitable ads!

07-19-2018 01:48 PM #8 jake_austin (Member)

I'd be curious to see how it performs if you really did use that goofy stick figure pic.

07-20-2018 12:18 PM #9 revale (Member)

Quote Originally Posted by stickupkid View Post
Good to hear and nice we found some time for a small talk in Barcelona! Hope it helps you to get a better view of how to run possible profitable ads!
Yes... that was really helpful. I'll start a follow along with that campaign here soon.

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