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Roast My Landing Pages - Need help with CB Landing Pages (9)

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hey guys,


So i am running CB + Bing and is having some trouble on identifying what makes a good LP.


1. Is this a bad template? On mobile user have to scroll quite a bit.
2. Is my landing page copy okay? Not a great writer but I did studied a lot on writing copies but am not sure if i am highlighting the benefits well enough.


Roast way no mercy

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What's the current CTR of those, since you already run it right?

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Hello!

One of the first thing coming to the mind by the first look - there is to much text. I would say people are quite lazy to read in general. Thus the title and phrases should be short and catchy. For example, the phrase "You don't need to excercise like crazy" could be replaced just by "No exercises".

Also, three dots in the title don't look very appealing.

And maybe some good picture could work here.

However, it's just my personal opinion and some things that catch the first look.

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Thanks Mobidea!
I too struggled if i just had to lay out the main points or should I follow with more explanation.
And indeed the 3 dots thing looked weird, its just something i picked up with i was spying without knowing if its a good thing or not.


Yup indeed i ran them, CTR is between 20-30% for these 2 landers. However I only got less than 50 clicks so i dont have really solid data for now.

Its just that something didnt feel quite right so I am here to double confirm.


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What about the template? The text looks kinda large on mobile so thats a bit of scrolling, is this template generally alright?

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Hello,

I'm missing some graphics/pics on the cholesterol LP ... show them an artery that needs cleaning, show them the food they are missing ... or a happy face of someone who has taken the steps already. I also don't like that the sentences don't end with a dot or an exclamation mark.

For the mobile versions, I would also place a CTA closer to the top, not just having one all the way down at the end o the LP.

On a side note, 30% CTR isn't bad ... but it's all about the conversions ... so you need to drive more traffic.

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I just scrolled through briefly but your grammar is off. In your first example you say "plague" when it should be "plaque." Also in the first example the sentence "High cholesterol drug is not the only option" when I believe it should be "High cholesterol drugs are not the only option." Deff try to get a good proofreader for your landers

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As a very basic a template you can use this one, but bare in mind that there is a lot of things to be improved. Try to add more visual content so it looks more selling. Stylish, clear, catchy - those are goal features.
The landing page should engage and appeal to click. Once you have this effect by yourself, here is a good sign.

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Thanks everyone, you guys have been awesome!

Great to hear from you matuloo, big fan of your blog.


Do you mean having multiple CTA in the landing page, or do I create separate landing page or mobile & desktop?


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I've made amendments according to the suggestions.
- Removed the silly 3 dot thing, added full-stop to sentences
- Make the points a bit shorter
- Added image(not the best one will change later)
- Corrected the grammar/spelling mistakes





I also have few more questions:


Q1:
Another part i am having trouble is the part where it says,
"This video will reveal the secret to lowering cholesterol:"


As it's the bridge to lead users towards the bullet points sometimes it just don't sound that right or smooth.
Is there better way to write this thing?


Q2:
These are the user pain points i have gathered:
1. Sacrificing favorite food, some even went vegan but cholesterol level still increased
2. Painful & consistent exercises with no effect on cholesterol level
3. Genetics, family history of high cholesterol
4. Various side effect from high cholesterol drug, like liver pain, dizziness and whatnot


How do i present my points effectively? Should I mention benefit, feature or pain points?
Are the bullet points in my landing page good enough to address these pain points?
I am kinda confused on should I present/counter these long and elaborate pain points in such a short bullet points effectively?






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Open to any suggestions you guys may have, love to learn as much as possible
Thanks everyone, you guys have been awesome!

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Thanks, need to post something there soon again

I would suggest using a different LP for mobile traffic, tweaked to fit the smaller screen better.

This is a standard example of the need to split test several CTA texts/headlines ...

- Watch this video and say goodbye to your cholesterol problems.
- 3 simple tricks to lower cholesterol ... watch the video.
- High cholesterol levels? This video will help!

As they say, there are 1000 ways to skin a cat Experiment, brainstorm ...

This is similar to your first question ... you need to experiment again and see what works better.

You need to learn how to work with the human psychology a bit, people react to certain words, situations, promises ... I tried to find you an infographics that summarizes the basic human instincts like fear, greed, missed opportunity, scarcity ... but couldn't find it... but let share at least 2 pretty good graphics. One is about how to catch users attention and one is listing words that work great at capturing the initial interest.






Cheers,
Matej.

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