critique this lp (7)
Not sure if this is the right place to put this, but please rip my page apart.
This is for a project concept we are testing - a tennis discount card where the person pays for it up front then gets a discount with participating merchants.
http://www.ouchh.com/Hosting/Tennis/Design7/
Thanks.
first impression is too busy.... the background is too bright, the USP and even the CTA are not instantly visible... will try to get you a mockup
Just my $0.02:
- CTA should be higher above-the-fold
- "Enter your email" should be cleared when on focus
- Add css hand/pointer to the Submit button
- "Submit" button should be a different color, ideally a color that contrasts with the rest of the color scheme
- BBB button looks fake due to being blurry (average person probably couldn't tell though)
- Missing the "$" sign before 39.99/yr
- The hero shot (product shots) could be larger. Maybe having a seal/badge that says "FREE!" because there's only a single instance on the LP saying you get those products for free.
- Wrap quote symbols around the testimonials
I'm being nitpicky because I design landing pages. 
The above comments are on the money...also add social sharing (fb, twitter, digg, etc..) and a "Like this" button.
Something I would consider playing with is the angle... right now I'm not really getting an "angle" you're taking with it.
This could range from audience demographic: "Beginning in tennis? Lessons/matches/equipment/wadrobe all add up! See how 1000's of beginners are saving 20% on blah blah blah..."... to the core reasons people would want it: Think about what majority of Tennis players are mainly like and appeal to that. Examples:
1) Country club members - don't care about money, more focused on "exclusivity" and "the best" or "the 'it' thing".
2) High school students - want to get better and save money, not look like a doucher in front of their friends
3) Girls -
4) Guys -
5) etc...
Basically there are mad different angles to play with and I'd suggest making a couple different LP's and seeing which angle works with the traffic you're pairing it up with.
Just my two pennies! ;-)
Perhaps a big red arrow pointing to "submit"?
Thanks, I appreciate all your comments. Will post updated version when its done.
I was browsing through the different designs you tried.
http://www.ouchh.com/Hosting/Tennis/Design2/
This catches my attention a lot more then the one you showed. It's less intense and easier on the eye.
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