Wanted: Feedback on my ebook page! (34)
Hey guys,
Would anyone mind taking a look at my ebook site and give me some feedback on my sales page?
http://www.quietnightsleep.com/
I want to make sure that it will help convince people to buy my product, however I don't want one of those giant long squeeze pages with fake testimonials that you see on many clickbank products.
I could try getting some testimonials or reviews if you think that might help.
After they purchase the product they are taken to a page with an awebber opt-in form (there is a direct link to the download page for those not willing to opt-in).
Thanks!
hmmm....It really needs a long copy....
you need more imagery......long copy works....that why you see it alot on those products.....
let me show you
tell a story about your "first kid" and how difficult it was.....that way parents can sypathize with that story cuz they prob have ones like it....tell how you tried everything with little success and it was affecting you work.....make it believable....
you could even play the "single dad" angle for more sympathy.....
then talk abit about how you were at the end of your rope....getting only 3hrs of sleep a nite....when you something struck you out of the blue....
you had an idea
you implemented your idea....
and it worked....
it wasn't easy of course....but you started to reclaim your sleep sloowly....
but it was a start....then you took your original idea and you merged it with something you read....a technique used by sleep specialists to help induce a state of solid sleep....WITH NO DRUGS!!
BAMO!
then go on to how you want to help parents like you who are struggling with the same problems....
litter the who thing with cute pics of you and your "daughter" to emphasize your a caring dad...
the call to action should be something like "Get your life back" maybe not that strong but along those lines...
thats what I would do if I wanted to get sales....
1) I would have a picture of a crying/restless baby at the top of that image stack with an arrow transitioning to the quiet, peaceful babies. You will connect with the user more if you show "what they are tired of (the problem)" ---> what the want it to be like (the result after buying your ebook).
2) Testimonials at the bottom would help.
3) Add some security motifs around the click here to purchase link - e.g. pay with paypal, security/encrypted payment process, etc. You want to reinforce how safe it is to buy your product.
4) A money back guarantee at the bottom might push people over their hesitation to consider cashing out.
here's my feedback as someone that was recently in your target market:
- You say "my book", I would add some info about what makes the author an expert. Any kind of certifications, official or otherwise. experience as a mom, dad, babysitter, Dr, whatever
- craft the point of view from there - you know their pain "If you're here that means your little one is having trouble sleeping at night. I feel your pain. As a mom/dad/doctor of 3 babies that would not sleep, you bet I tried almost everything out there..."cry it out", car rides, the "wise" baby experts (babywise - I dont know if you can call them out by name) and these methods DO NOT WORK! But FEAR NOT, I've discovered a secret method that has been tested by thousands of parents with instant success..."
- Put some expected results in there. "Your Baby could be sleeping 10-12 hours PER NIGHT in as little as 3 days! I'll show you how..."
- Any other things specific topics people will learn about in the book, maybe bulleted out.
Thanks for the great feedback guys!
nice page... and nice feedback! Idea that just came to mind...
maybe try putting a mp3 or video of a crying baby... and "instructing them" to hit the stop or pause button... saying "stopping your baby from crying and getting a peaceful nights rest can really be this easy. These 3 simple steps, blah blah blah" or whatever the simple formula is to stop it.
Just an idea
Nice page, know some new fathers who would probably want this so lemme know when it's ready!
Haha good idea Dubbsy! I have a feeling that most parents with a troublesome baby would probably put their fist through their monitor if the computer was crying at them too =)
Everyone has contributed great suggestions, they are all valid.
This is how I would lay it out:
1. Strong opening paragraph/promise that no parent can refuse.
2. Ask questions. Touch on the pain points.
3. Story.
4. Testimonials.
5. Give people a reason to buy now (not tomorrow, not next week).
I would also scour Clickbank to get inspiration from competitors.
Agree with everything these guys have said, you really do need a long sales page and to go at the pain angle and how you are going to relieve that pain.
Heres a complete template to write a sales page, you can't go wrong if you follow it through:
http://www.mediafire.com/?zq0cwc4t0ock7qd
Start with your headline and go from there.......
Awesome! Thanks Garyp! I'll have another crack at it tonight and post here when I'm done.
Ok this is what I have come up with so far:
Will your baby ever sleep through the night?
Sometimes it seems like it will never happen. You get your baby to sleep, take a couple of hours for yourself (to do the cleaning!) you settle down in your nice warm bed and... the baby starts crying again!
We’ve all been there; I found it especially hard with my first child. I love my daughter more than anything now but when she was very young she just wouldn’t sleep more than a few hours... more than once we had a crying competition.
Lack of sleep is just part of being a parent though right?
That’s what I thought too at first. All of my friends and work mates loved to horrify me with their stories of sleep deprivation. They wore them like a badge of honor, but I knew there had to be a better way.
So I talked to an expert on the subject (my mother – 6 kids). With her valuable input plus some tips I managed to pick up from numerous parenting books I managed to finally get my daughter to sleep. This wasn’t an instant process as she was already used to getting up several times during the night but we got there in the end.
She was sleeping through the night at 13 weeks, things were happy in our household once again as both my wife and I finally got much needed (and deserved) sleep!
Fast-forward 3 years and our son was born. Once again our household was plunged into chaos. Waking up every 3 hours is no fun and this time my wife was suffering from post-natal depression so the night feeds were all up to me! This time however I was armed with the knowledge I needed and my son was sleeping though at 7 weeks old!
I had found an effective way to get my children to sleep though!
The same people that loved entertaining me with stories of sleepless nights took great pleasure in asking me how I was handling the lack of sleep with the new baby. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I told them he was already sleeping through!
Their reaction did get me thinking though; perhaps I should write the techniques I’ve learned down so I can help other people that have new babies.
So I began writing and this ebook is the end result! I’ve purposely kept this book short and to the point. I know from experience that new parents don’t have time to sit around reading lengthy books!
By following the concepts in my book you will finally be able to sleep again!
Pretty dramatic, but that’s how it feels sometimes! It seems like you’ve only just closed your eyes when the baby monitor starts to go off for the 5th time that night!
Everyone deserves a good night’s sleep. Not only will my book help you claim back your nights, but the concepts you learn will help you maintain a decent amount of sleep even as your child grows.
Your child will learn that it’s not ok to come and jump on mummy and daddy’s bed at 5am (like some of my co workers kids do).
My daughter is now 4 and will quite happily get herself up in the morning, go to the toilet by herself and then jump back into bed until at least 7.30am all without waking us up.
Our friends with kids hate hearing our stories... it’s great!
..... Call to action or something? How should I close it?
Any feedback guys?
OK, fasten your seatbelts:
1. Start listening to IloveMarketing.com : they have a 1000$ value/month podcast coming out weekly: the great thing about it: it is FREE :-) I think it is the BEST free advice on marketing currently available online. It comes out weekly on Sunday night.
2. The last podcast was about the Video Sales Letter (VSL) : those are the best converting right now, way better than long form sales letters: the "inventor" (Benson) explains everything in the latest podcast
3. When you have your video sales letter up and the visitor leaves your page you can still show them a long form salesletter as a "goodbye page"
This works, this has been tested, this converts way better than the long form sales letter, this is being used by the biggest marketers online, it is not hard (powerpoint, camtasia, screenflow, whatever), do test though for your niche and have both versions split tested.
Thanks dude!
I don't know if I have the resources to put together a professional looking video sales letter at the moment, plus the fact that I'm from new zealand so everyone in the US will be going "What the fuck is he even talking about??"
No resources? Sounds like a great excuse :-) (not!). Who said it needs to look profesional in order to sell? Just start doing it.
You need: some time, pc or mac, powerpoint or similar (openoffice, free), camtasia ($$), microphone (from 15$), openoffice to write up a document(free).
Do listen to the podcast about the video sales letter. It is not hard. If you want I can give you a template which guides you thru what to do at which moment (if you want it, PM me).
Basically: you first write the script (as a sales letter, use what you have now as a start, but using the template). Then you can decide to outsource (a few 5$´s on fiverr?) the voiceover. Then you create a powerpoint using this template
The recommended length is about 20 minutes. You don´t write the entire script of the voiceover literally in the powerpoint, sometimes a part of it. You only write TEXT there (mostly short bullet points, sometimes entire phrases), do not use animations.
Many examples going around the internet of this right now, check this Benson of the podcast, he created a bestselling clickbank product around Abs.
Then the final step is to record (Camtasia) the powerpoint together with the MP3 voiceover. I´m sure you can outsource that pretty cheap too.
P.S. Seems like a great idea your ebook, so go for it.
P.S.2 OK, I just stop motivating you to stack money, just wanted to act nice as I´m being new around here :-)
Thanks man I will check it out
I did not read through the entire thread but a few things hit me.
Stronger Headline, testimonials, picture of your ebook (make it good).
Some trust images could help also.
I think I remember hearing add to cart converts much better than buy now.
Add to card lets them know they can still back out but get them to take action in that direction.
Split test your results.
Good Luck!
Thanks Markl, I'm working on a new version as we speak and will post it up later tonight.
Ok here is the latest version: http://www.quietnightsleep.com/
I've incorporated the feedback in this thread. I'm still nowhere near as long as some of the Clickbank pages. I'm going to work on getting some testimonials.
Create a story that your readers can read.
Say how you struggled at first but now its always quiet 
nice page... something else I'd consider doing.. if you're looking to make this into a more long-term business, is to give them some other free stuff. Maybe a forum to discuss their strategies, interviews with some dr's or other experts in the field, other ebooks (preferably you've written) that go into detail on specific topic withing your niche.
Also are you collecting emails during this process? Ton's of potential there, you could be there go to source for raising their child, especially if they have success with your ebook on sleeping, they'll think everything you show them is going to work.
Check out David Deangelo, double your dating. His method of working them through a sales funnel is sick, and makes him 25 mil a year (so they say, but I can believe it).
good luck bro!
-D
Break your text up with imagery (checklists, tired parents, babies, the book). Also try to stay away from stock photography.
Thanks Mr Green and Dubbsy!
@Dubbsy, thanks man! I have an email list opt-in as the landing page after a purchase, so hopefully that gets a decent sign-up rate, there is a link directly to the download page from there however. Perhaps I should also put the opt-in form on the download page that you can get to without signing up?
@Mr Green, Good idea Lorenzo, I was thinking about it something like that this morning actually, perhaps I can make list of benefits describing how the parent will feel once their child is sleeping through. I'll have a look for some "non-stock" looking images too. Or I guess I can just make my son cry and take photos of that 
Take one for the team buddy! Daddy needs photos!
Originally Posted by combo
I think I will make a video presentation, I'll split test it against a text page.
Would people really be happy paying $77 dollars on a 16 page ebook? Perhaps they would if it solves their problem.
Is there a particular reason why you're using numbers that end in 7?
I'm going to add access to a private support forum for purchasers as well, so that should add some value!
What you using for your landing page, I've got a pretty cool theme:
http://www.optimizepress.com/sales1b/
PM if you want a review copy
I REALLY like this angle!! I'm sure you could make it work.
The 1 piece of input I'll give you is long copy, and having that long copy VERY well organized will greatly help you out. The more organized a landing page the higher conversion rate and it's most important for these types of products.
Thanks for the offer Garyp, at the moment I'm just using something I made myself
Thanks stackman, I really appreciate the input you guys are giving. I'm going to have another crack at the landing page tonight. I really want it to flow well and for the user to be able to get the message just from headings + highlighted words if they are only skimming the page.
Ideally I would like to have testimonials, but I don't want to make up bullshit ones for this product as I'd like to make it a long term thing and build up a solid list. I'd actually rather be honest with people at the start and perhaps say that I'm selling this cheap for a limited time as I'd like to encourage the early purchasers to submit testimonials.
Originally Posted by combo
If you get the sales copy right and people are convinced what you're selling will help, then I don't see why they wouldn't pay $47. Most parents would probably pay $100's to have a better sleep every night, especially if they have strong reason to believe your product will give results. A brilliant testimonial could really help you there. Once you get going and have sales, why not get a satisfied customer to do a video testimonial for you? Complete with baby in arms! That would be ace and would really connect with your target audience.
Good Zeno!
OK here is the revised version, i've added some extra images and a checklist of benefits:
http://www.quietnightsleep.com/
I think I'm going to sign up for an agency account to sell this on facebook as it is a legitimate thing.
If I sign up for an agency account under my own name, but use a different email address from my personal FB account will I run into issues because both accounts log in from the same IPS?
I should I use a VPN even though it's a legitimate thing?
Moved the 14.95 page here http://www.quietnightsleep.com/qnsCart.htm as I've created some different pages with different prices.
Spent tonight polishing up the page and dotting some i's and crossing t's at clickbank, will be making a new account for facebook tomorrow then will get this beast on the road and see what happens!
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