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Rate my brain pills landing page. (17)

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I'll be promoting brain pills to college kids, my landing page exactly:

What would you recommend I change to get a better ctr and cr? I want to make sure it's good before I launch.

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Not the expert by any means here but I would add some background imagery that is faded so that you don't take away from the text. It will help break up the big block at the top. Speaking of big block, it might be a bit text heavy on top. The part below the fold is fine but above you probably want a more concise message.

Again not an expert but wanted to provide my thoughts as an outsider.

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I think your copy writing could do with some work.

What do you think is the primary EMOTIONAL reason someone is going to be interested in your offer?

Do they want to 'Unleash Your Mind' or do they want to 'Learn Faster And Remember More To Quickly And Easily Improve Their Grades/Pass Exams/Secure A XYZ!'

The grammar on the main paragraph is a little clunky in places.

You might want to split test the affect of including the data collection form versus not.

Is that Bill Gates photo over the Bill Clinton text?

Personally, I don't like the design, the white text on the blue background is hard to read.

Have you spied some other Brain landers for inspiration?

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Just a tip.. when using domains with the .us extension, you are not able to use whois guard, so therefore all of your personal info (name, address, email, etc) is exposed.

Something to be mindful of.




Andrew

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I would honestly revise the entire design of your lander along with the copy.

Ask yourself if you would click through if you were a college student. Does this lander make you feel excited or scared? Does it make you take action right now? Not at all. I'd focus on making a proper angle first, and then shaping the entire page's design to it. There are so many angles you can test with this - for example a play on fear where students are doing a last minute assignment, preparing for a test, drinking too many energy drinks (another possible sub-angle in here too) and so on.

"Unleash your mind" - where, to what, what does this do for me, why should I want to unleash my mind? Vague headline.

The first point "1) Reduce your study time by 80%? (If it took you an hour to learn something, now it will take you only 12 minutes.)" might actually work well if you're completely out of ideas.

Once you setup a proper angle, you can read up some tips on what makes a good lander, there are tons of resources out there, here are a few to get you started:

https://instapage.com/blog/anatomy-of-a-landing-page

https://blog.kissmetrics.com/landing...n-infographic/

http://www.digitalmarketer.com/landi...on-conversion/

To summarize a few things:

- Make the entire page design visual in a way that complements your copy.

- Use images relevant to your angle. E.g. a college student being frustrated, sitting at his desk in a poorly illuminated room, looking tired and studying. Imagine using this versus your current dark, blue background with a white wall of text?

- Visual hierarchy matters(a lot).

- Reduce friction and objections as much as you can. Extremely clear and action-oriented CTAs, headlines, bullet points.

- Use trust icons, testimonials, social proof.

If you decide to do a redesign, I'd be happy to provide further feedback so you can have a better start at this.

Good luck!

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I've added a background image of a student studying, as per @fap911 (???) and @shishev suggestions.

@clickwork7 Changed the "Clinton" to "Gates" (oops :x), i've tried to make my headlines a little more interesting and i've changed the design. Please let me know if this is easier to read.

@mrpayne Thanks for that info, it's a good thing all of that info is invalid :P

The new lp's + different variants:

Headline variants:

"Limitless", The Movie is Based on This Pill -

Turn Your C's to A's With This Pill -

Unlock Photographic Memory With This Pill -

College is Too Easy With This Pill -

AdCopy variants for the "College is Too Easy With This Pill" variant:

You ever wonder how those guys who never seem to study do so well in class? You know the type, they come in late, sleep through the lecture and leave early. Yet they still come out on top of the class, they don't even come in to get their test scores! This is how they do it.


Ever notice how some stoners do really well in class? They spend the whole day smoking up and come to lectures buzzed out of their minds but still destroy exams, ever wonder how they do it? This is how.

Everyone knows that one person who's just everywhere. They have an overload on courses, they T.A 3 different courses, they're head of their fraternity, they work two jobs and they still have time to outparty everyone! How do they do it? This is how.

Thanks for all the informative responses guys, you all rock

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Better but the text is still hard to read with the color scheme you are using.

Also as a general rule I prefer to have the call-to-action in view without having the user scroll down. Even on my large resolution monitor I had to scroll to get to the "Learn More". Make it as easy as possible for that person to click on that link - don't make them have to hunt for it.

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I'll see what I can do about having my cta higher up.

What color schemes are easy on your eyes? I read it fine so I really can't tell.

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Remember that whatever it is that you're making is not about you, but the customers instead.

The copy is getting there, but the design is not. Dark red text on a dark blue background is a bad idea, and generally speaking you should be cautious when using red and blue together. This is currently very hard to read. The CTA should be above the fold, also the CTA copy - "learn more now" isn't good enough.

Another key question you should ask yourself is whether this lander looks trustworthy. I think it's a mess. Poorly cropped product image, serif vs sans-serif fonts, bad use of colour, some of the logos are barely visible and so is the background image. The rest of the page is completely different from the ATF area too. There's barely any consistency.

I highly recommend that you scrap this design and start fresh - go over the articles in my previous post, maybe even look at some proper templates and good landing page examples and see if I you can make something similar. If you struggle with building good landers, a last resort option would be to use a tool like Leadpages, Unbounce, Instapage etc. and starting off with one of their templates.

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RULE #1 for succeeding at affiliate marketing is Dont use the ideas from the guy who hasn't sold anything.

With that said, do you have alots of experience selling brain pills? Have you sold over $100,000 worth?

If not, (which is completely understandable) then you are the guy who hasn't sold anything. In that case I would HIGHLY suggest not listening to yourself.

Forget your landing page, forget the ads you made. Forget what you 'think' you should do.

Get a spy tool, go find the guy who's selling $30,000/day worth of brain pills (theyre out there), and use his ideas. RIP his landers and rip his ads, rip the entire funnel A-Z.

Because if you do the same thing they're doing, you'll get the same results they're getting.

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I'm sorry but this couldn't be any further from the truth. There's absolutely no substitute for crafting your own ads/angles and researching your targeted market. Yes, spy tools might help if you want to get a grasp of what other people are doing, but saying you'll get the same results as someone else by literally ripping their funnel is simply not going to happen. Besides, OP is actually already on the right track with his angles from his latest post.

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@shishev, I feel like i'm the contender with his pants down on Masterchef :'D

I've changed the color scheme to green, white and blue. Hopefully this is easier on the eyes. I've started running some traffic to test, should be interesting to see what the ctr might be. I've added a few more trust badges and i've made the font uniform, also i'm using unbounce for this.

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Quick question - are you only running one lander, or a few landers with minor variations?

If so don't do that. Run 3 or 4 in a split test with radically different landers. When I say "radically different", I mean that no-one should be able to spot they're from the same guy or the same campaign. REALLY different.

This also lets you take Zippi and shishev's advice at the same time. Run one lander that's very similar to the best practise in the industry - see what other people are doing and do that - and run something else that's original. Then see which does best.

Also, I'd advise not just ripping. See what the big guys are doing and RECREATE it. You learn a lot that way - copying the work of a master is a very underused learning skill.

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lol go ahead and don't listen to me. Ive only netted over $400k in the last 3 months running Nutra.

My #1 rule: Don't listen to the guy who hasn't sold anything, even if that guy is yourself.

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Thanks for the advise, i've taken inspiration from one of the farticles for this particular product. I'll be running that today to see how it performs. I also have the original green one in rotation.

You've all given me great advice, much more than I would have learned on my own, i'm sure all your advice comes from some relevant experience and I appreciate it. I'll keep you guys posted on how this goes.

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How come this couldn't be further from the truth? If doing the same exact thing with the funnel, the only difference would be targeting, but I think that data can be bought vis a vis running tests to find profitable segments.

Zippi says he's doing 4k+/day for the last 3 months so it's working for him.. but maybe the difference between him and the 30k/day guy is original angles. But of course, new angles/ads/landers get ripped so quickly that the competitive advantage of having something fresh doesn't really last THAT long.

OP, for what it's worth - I like the practice of using proven landers when you're new to a vertical. Use them to establish a baseline of profitability. You know that they work, it's one less variable to take into account when you're tuning your targeting. Then once you know who/where converts, start playing with variations.

As for my thoughts on your page as it is..

Your headline is about Limitless so the background image should inspire one to feel limitless, not some stock photo of a mediocre looking lethargic college kid. Text is off center, hard to read. Pain bullets are poorly formatted and written in a way that sounds like a non-native English speaker. Bad cropping/ weird yellow halo effect under the bottle. Celeb endorsements read like jokes.

In all honesty the page looks like something from 2003. Ask yourself if you were a prospective customer, if you'd be compelled to read the page, much less click through. Sorry if that's harsh, but you really need to change things up to give a better user experience. Keep trying and get ripping/modding!

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I have a couple ripped landers in rotation. Though I find people don't even read through it, it's too long. I think i'll have to do more to qualify them at the source, right now I think people are just clicking because of passing curiosity. The landing page is meant for mobile, like 0.5% of my traffic uses desktop.

I have to take the links down guys, you're all screwing with my stats! :P

But i've learned a whole lot so thanks for that

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