I need some advice (6)
I went over my finances yesterday and they are really not looking good. I don't have a single profitable campaign right now and I haven't for a while.
I have been in the industry for a while now, but for the last 2 I was in really bad health. It was effecting me physically, mentally, and emotionally and what little profit I did make during that period didn't even offset my bad business decisions, life expenses and medical bills. I got a surgery at the beginning of October. After recovery I am in the best health I have been in my adult life, however my finances are in a terrible place.
I used to be very successful. Before I got sick I was managing several profitable campaigns at the same time. I have seen plenty of consistent 4 figure days and 5 figure months. I'll leave out as much of the medical drama as I can, but my deteriorating health began to really show in December 2013 and it began to severely effected my mental faculties. It was like my head was filled with fog all the time. I sunk into a deep depression. I started making horrible decisions that cost me massive amounts of money. I shudder thinking about the place I was in. By fall 2014 I had stopped working entirely and spent most of my time sleeping and wandering around in the woods. My health would improve intermittently throughout 2015 and I would start working again, just to have it take another dive removing all of my momentum.
I am back in good health now and I have been trying hard to get something going again. It's clear that the strategies and campaigns I was using before I got sick no longer work, but I saw enough in my intermittent work this year to know I can be profitable. I keep losing money on all the campaigns I test and nothing seems promising. Which is frustrating because of how many promising campaigns I had to abandon this year.
After doing my finances yesterday I'm in that position where it seems easier to just not work because I lose less money when I'm not working. I'm scared, paranoid, and honestly a little superstitious. It's hard not to think about how much money I would have right now had I not gotten sick. Or even how much money I would have right now had I simply paused all my campaigns when I started getting sick.
My car is dead, I think I need some dental work, I need to go to a friends wedding in a month, I have Christmas to worry about, I've been invited to go to Europe for a while next year, and I will be moving across the country when my lease runs out. Not to mention food, rent, bills, etc... I'm stressed as fuck. I'm terrified. I feel close to complete failure and I have no backup plan.
Maybe I just needed to get this off my chest because I have been trying hard to enjoy my new found health and stay confident but it's eating at me. I know how important a positive mindset is to success, and it's getting harder and harder to maintain.
I was in the same situation not long ago (not health wise and cannot compare to your miss-fortune), where I was dead broke, friend betrayed/scammed me and I had no job to pay bill/interest/debt, which was ultimately taking a toll on me mentally, subsequently onto me physically. I'm just slightly in a better position. How?
I've shifted my thinking and perspective -
Past does not matter, you cannot regret or change what has happened and by ACCEPTING/ADMITTING you'll ultimately free yourself from "regrets/stress".
Future is yet to arrive - don't stress and control the future - your future is determined by what you're doing in the PRESENT, this will free you from anxiety.
Lastly, the present, is what you should solely focus on, it's good to have goals, but ultimately if you can control your behavioural aspects of life - the present - you'll be a happier man.
It's not easy to build and takes time, but by reading books it does help enforce this sort of thinking and if you watch http://stmforum.com/forum/showthread...LEASED!-VIDEOS
TheCrazyRussian and does outline this.
Books I recommend on top of my head -
Top 5 regrets of the dying - teachings you compassion
Obstacle is the way - looking things at different angles and shifting your perspective towards adversity.
Hopefully this help as It has helped me in tough situations.
Okay, looks like you have been going through some pretty tough times, both physically and psychologically. First of all, I am happy that physically you are back to health. Health and family are the two most important things in life, and no amount of money is worth losing either.
That said, money definitely can bring tremendous stress, and it is easy to fall into a vicious spiral. You see this in casinos all the time, people losing money and then making worse and worse decisions to try to win this back ... until they finally withdraw their entire savings and put it all on red in the hopes of recovering their losses, only to lose everything they had: their savings, their children's college fund, their rent, everything. It is a very sad sight indeed.
If you find yourself heading toward a place like that, I think it is probably best to take a break from AM for awhile. It is almost impossible to make sound decisions when you are stressed and worried and desperate due to money. Indeed, it will make the situation even worse. In AM, you need to be as rational and almost emotionless as possible ... and even then, it is a tough game, where losses are invitable. Given this, I believe a lot can be said for you to try to work in a "regular" job for awhile. Now, I know a lot of people in AM look down on people who have regular jobs, but I think this attitude is pretty stupid. At least in a regular job, your ROI will always be positive every day. Futhermore, a regular job can provide much needed structure and social interactions which are often missing in a solo AM role. You can always come back to AM when you find yourself in a better financial and mental state. AM is not going anywhere.
I would also just stress that depression is a serious medical issue. While I did do graduate studies in medicine, I am not a praticising doctor or certified psychologist, so I am definitely not in a position to provide professional medical advice. However, there are plenty of places where you can get help, and you should not hesitate to seek them out if you feel like you are spiraling into depression.
Hang in there.
Originally Posted by cmdeal
On that same note, I was talking recently to a friend and fellow direct marketer about "what would you do if you suddenly went broke"...I told him I'd either go be a personal trainer or an uber driver, he told me he'd go be a bartender...and we were both amused that we had such "menial" back up plans. No entrepreneur ever stops being an entrepreneur, but there are times when it makes sense to take a break from it.
Thanks for your replies.
I'm a lot less stressed out about this than I was when I wrote that. I saw my bank account the day before and realized exactly what position I am in and I think that was important. I think it was also important to be reminded that all failure really means is getting a real job. I've never had a real job and I'm sure working retail, making coffee or any of the other jobs available to people my age in my area would suck. However, I'm sure it would be better than being homeless 
.
I also realized that I have a retirement account with quite a bit of money in it, and I could get a significant chunk of it back if I really had to. Paying penalties and still getting back low 5 figures now would do a lot more good for me now than letting it sit there so it could potentially make big money 40 years from now. I don't think this will be necessary but it's nice to know the option is there.
Anyways, I spent all of yesterday reading on this forum and reading success stories. I think it has reawakend my hunger and reminded me that my original goals are achievable. I don't just want to get back in a position where I am "comfortable". There is no reason why the long term goals I set for myself when I got into the industry can't be achieved this time next year.
I also let go of the idea that I am starting over. When I got started I had a few hundred dollars from high school graduation money and I did SEO. I made a few grand and then moved on to buying traffic. When a campaign was going well I had to call my bank every day to get my debit card spending limit increased from $500 to $1500 just to keep my campaign going. Then I would run for a week and let it sit for a week before I got paid to start running again. The network wouldn't pay me more often the biweekly no matter how many times I explained how much money was being left on the table. The only credit card I could get was a capital one student card with a $300 spending limit. Right now I have probably twice the money I had when I got started buying traffic and infinitely more knowledge. I have good relationships with networks that won't hesitate to pay me weeklies and I have unlimited spending limit amex cards that I have put six figures on in a month before.
I am not in that bad of a position and the AM world seems to be in a good position for me. I made all of my money doing PPV, primarily on trafficvance (which was officially "dead" before I even got started
) . There are so many more PPV networks now than there was 2+ years ago and there is now a lot of crossover between them and popunder networks. I've decided to put my focus on zeropark because it is apparently enormous. The potential right now is massive.
Hey Colorofspace.
I'd like to write a few words of encouragement for you, in order to fill you with hope, love and peace.
I am sorry to hear about all the trials that you have experienced. Life can sometimes throw challenges at us that seem insurmountable, but be strong - the end is nowhere near. Don't underestimate yourself.
What you have experienced, although depressing and arduous, has strengthened your character and provided you with maturity that simply cannot just be read about or studied.
You are still that same person that knows how to utilize resources to their advantage. In the past, when an obstacle presented itself you jumped over it, went around it, or fiercely struck it down with vigor and confidence.
Please stop giving your turbulent past so much attention - it does not deserve it. The past should not be wielded as a set of chains that bind us to unfortunate circumstances. Instead it should serve as a teacher that informs us as we conduct our daily lives. Also, realize that even if you lose all your material goods you can accumulate them again in due time. Your primary focus should be your mental and physical health.
Surround yourself with positive people that can cultivate a sense of well-being in you via loving support. If you have a loving family nearby, lean on them, spend time with them. Read good books, watch great movies and listen to uplifting music.
Oh, and watch your diet. Nutrition has a great effect on your physical and mental health. Depression is simply a hormonal imbalance - hence why antidepressants are so effective. If you can manage your diet to include foods which positively affect serotonin levels, you could do yourself some good! (Examples includes foods rich in Omega-3 fatty acids, B vitamins and complex carbohydrates). Exercising works wonders on your mood also!
Do not be afraid of risk. Instead, assess it: What is the worst thing that could happen if you performed X action, versus, what is the best thing that could possibly happen if you performed X action. You cannot eradicate the possibility of risk, but you CAN minimize the magnitude of potential risk (i.e. you wouldn't gamble away $1000, your life savings, but instead you could gamble with $10 - a small fraction of that amount, where losses would not disqualify you from playing the game).
Sorry if my words were plentiful. Stay strong, realize that life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you. Align your positive energy with that of the universe, be hopeful, seek love and peace and put your hands to the plow. You will succeed.
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