Please Critique My Landing Page (14)
Hey STMers,
I have a very bad performing landing page and I would like to ask you what you think is wrong with it.
Here's the URL: [removed-the traffic messes with my tracking 
]
Screen:
I get like no conversions and my clickmap tells me that most of the visitors do not click anywhere on the page so it has overall bad engagement.
Target audience is basically folks with a yard/garden who have mole problems. My ads get quite a decent CTR and the traffic comes from gardening, landscaping and home improvement sites through display ads.
I've send around 200 visitors to this version and got only one lead...
Here's the best banner:
Feedback appreciated
What I would test :
* Swap image on the left and text on the right. It has been shown images on the left get more attention and serve as anchors to the text
* Try a shorter , more catchy headline
* In the body use less text and shorter
My observations are:
The headline on the landing page is too long - in my opinion.
Perhaps let people watch the video i.e. use that as an introduction and get them to submit details to receive a free report?
Under "Inside you will find" - I'd limit that to three or four benefits and change the font / ditch the yellow highlights. Also, use a bit less text if possible.
Banner looks okay graphically but I'm sure another STM member can offer insight on the copy there.
Keep going and best of luck.
- Put the headlines in quotes and center it.
- Get rid of the home, about, contact. There should only have one path and that's the CTA button.
- Get a more relevant domain name. what is easy access online?
- Try a better image instead of the video. Try out different images of moles, gophers, maybe show some DAMAGE these guys can do. You want to use the image to trigger memories and pain.
- The CTA button is not clear enough. Should be centered in the middle. Animated arrows pointing at it. A big orange button.
- etc.
The page has a lot of room for improvement. Good luck
Originally Posted by dr_ngo
Thanks guys for your input. Will test 2 new versions based on your insight tommorow & report back when I have some data.
I would also get rid of the word "trap" in the headline and replace it with something much more vague such as "secret" or something more mysterious sounding. When visitors see the word "trap" they immediately know what it's all about, and that gives them an opportunity to say "NO" in their minds (for various reasons-- they tried traps and they didn't work, they don't like traps, they can get a trap anywhere). You can, of course, split test that word in the headline, but if your goal is to maximize landing page CTR, you want to give them a reason to click, and the word "trap" gives them a reason not to click because now they know what it's all about.
An interesting historical note: one of the great grandfathers of information marketing, Jerry Buchanan, got his start selling a report via classified ads about how to remove moles and gophers from your garden. He parlayed that success into his TOWERS Club newsletter, and made a good living for a time with it. So, as you can see, everything old is new again.
Quite the segmented niche you've got!
Some of this may be overlapped..
- Too cluttered text (less points, and bigger font -- focus on the main 3)
- Title should be changed to just 1 line
- Remove navigation buttons
- Change domain
- Have the CTA button centered bottom and bigger text
First impressions:
1) The headline is too hard to read. Try using Arial.
2) The text is small for the bullets.
3) You need to make your bullets more specific and shorter.
4) That video play button is too small.
5) That text in the button is not large enough. Hard to see.
I tried rewriting your bullets to be shorter, and faster to read.
Inside you'll discover:
1) A 4 Step blueprint to get rid of gophers.
2) The one {powerful|simple|awesome} trap that catches gophers every single time
3) Expert guidance on what attracts gophers so you know what not to do.
Number 4 and 5 seem redundant.
Notes:
1) The number of steps doesn't matter. Be specific on how many steps there are.
2) Use some sort of adjective to describe the trap.
3) Emphasize that an expert created this information. It builds authority.
[Edit]
I gave your headline a try:
10,000 People Evicted Their Gophers Using this One Powerful Trap
"The Gophers Laughed When I Bought The Trap Until They Got Stuck"
How To Evict Gophers and Make Your Yard Pretty
Discover The Secret To Evicting Gophers
A Little Mistake Caused a Homeowner $5000 in Gopher Damage
Advice to Homeowners With a Gopher Problem -- By a Homeowner
The Gopher Trap That Won The Hearts of All Homeowners
How a New Gopher Trap Make Battleground Beautiful
The Last 2 Gophers Are the Worst -- And This Trap Saves Your Yard
Who else wants a Gopher-free yard?
Do you make these mistakes trapping gophers?
Why some traps "explode" the gopher population.
Yards with fewer gophers in 24 hours -- or your money back
You can laugh at gopher worries -- if you follow this simple plan
When gophers feel rotten, this is what they do.
It seems incredible that you can remove gophers forever -- for only $25
Five signs of gopher infestation, and what to do with them
Who ever heard of gophers leaving a yard while you spend 5 minutes a day.
How I improved my gopher problem in one evening
How I got rid of gophers with a "Fool Idea"
How often do you hear yourself saying, "I wish those gophers left"
Whose fault is it when gophers move in?
Is your home picture-poor?
The crimes we commit against your yard.
This Trap Caught 7 gophers -- with room for more.
No more gopher hunting for me -- yet our yard is the showplace of the neighborhood
I got bored and will stop here.
Boom, headline writing!
You should go to that kind of length and then some when coming up with headlines.
They are important and can have huge effects on CTR and CVR.
wow. just wow. awesome feedback.
some classic headlines you have there jennatalia thanks
will implement your ideas right now and test those landers
Edit:
You guys mentioned the bullet points a lot. I was acutally stealing that idea from http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ The idea was to overwhelm the visitor with value in exchange for just his email. Apperantly that didn't work out very well. Was it too much to read? lol What are your thoughts on why that didn't push perceived value?
And I added the fake navigation later to add some more credibility and to look like a real site. Didn't help either
Why not use the banner as the landing page? it's short and to the point. worth testing.
Also I will switch the word trap.
try instead:
Ancient Method
Forgotten Trick
etc'
The word "Secret" is being used too much but defiantly worth a test.
Good luck!
i'm not a landing page expert but here's my 2 cents:
apart from all the great points above, i'm a bit confused about your CTA:
are you trying to have 2 CTAs here? one is watching the video and the other is email optin?
or as a user, i have to optin first before i can watch the video? or are you encouraging me to watch the video first, then optin?
i think in most cases having one and only one CTA is better than two. for the veterans, what do you guys think?
So much gold right there. This should pay for your 2015 membership.
Really good stuff here.
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