So I understand the usual process of an affiliate is something like this...
audience clicks ad --> landing page --> offer (if turns into leads) = $$
Is there a way we can somehow collect the leads ourselves too? that way we can build a long term asset instead of getting a one time payout?
PPV Lander -> Get Email -> Email Chain with Offers
One of the best-known and simplest ways to do this is to build an email list for something like "Online Dating Tips", then push offers to that list by email. That way you build an asset, as you say, and still manage to push offers.
List-building and maintenance is an art all of its own, of course, but there's lots of good information on how to build a sustainable mailing list out there on places like ProBlogger, IttyBiz, etc.